Gubernato-what?

“Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery;
None but ourselves can free our minds.
Have no fear for atomic energy,
‘Cause none of them can stop the time.
How long shall they kill our prophets,
While we stand aside and look? Ooh!
Some say it’s just a part of it:
We’ve got to fullfil the book.

Won’t you help to sing
This songs of freedom-
‘Cause all I ever have:
Redemption songs;
Redemption songs;
Redemption songs.”

 

Redemption Songs- Bob Marley.

 

First, I would like to ask…. What the hell is this Gubernato-whatever nonsense that we keep talking about? When did it become difficult to just call it “Governatorial Race”… Or “Governor’s Race…” or even “Race to be Governor”? This reminds me of the reasons why I hate math. The fact that I was never any good at it aside, but I hated math when first, math decided to never mature and solve its own problems, two; regardless of the number of ‘x’s I found, they never seemed to be enough. Nobody ever asked me to for example, find ‘r’ or, hey.. I think the letter W, is a pretty decent find. The other reason I hated math, was when some ‘highly unclever’ fellow, decided to replace numbers with letters. You don’t believe me? Well, lets solve this problem together…

 

Let then number of Mangos be X and the number of pineapples are Y… If we add Z number of oranges, what do we get? My answer, is W Fruit salad. Logic right? However, some mathematician is busy trying to conjure up some insane formula and methodology to solve the darn problem. Frustrated much?

 

Back to my ‘Gubernato-whatever’ rant… When did we complicate our lives? Last I checked, its only the Kalenjin, who were allowed to shrub by replacing ‘V’ with the letter ‘P’ or ‘B’. Case in point; “Padrig and Pinicent are blaying with a Pall’…(Patrick and Vincent are playing with a ball) Now even the town folk are replacing ‘V’ with ‘B’… Case in point.. Governor..’Guberna-whatever’. 

 

Away from phonetics and such. This is the time when we all become seasoned political analysts. We all suddenly have this urge to analyse,diagnose,remdy and offer the best political advise. aI am writing this hoping to be called by Julie on Sunday and I can offer my two cents worth of analysis to all and sundry! If you have Larry Madowo’s Number, tell him I am now an ‘Actual Expert’ and I can be in studio as well! Being the political pundit/heavy-weight/analyst,veteran loud mouth, I have an expert commentary on the Guberna-… that one race!

 

Jimnah Mbaru is now in the race to become NAIROBI GOVERNOR! He has affirmed himself to be on the ballot come March the 4th 2013. We already had two main candidates, Waititu a.k.a ‘Baba Yao’ a.k.a YT2 and Kidero who I hereby call R2D2.. (The man deserves a cool a.k.a as well).

 

Let me tell you a story;

 

3 monkeys were in a new forest. They didn’t know the spread of the land and so they were jumping  around from tree to tree, generally doing what they do best; monkey business, and as this was virgin territory, they were starving, each in desperate need of just one banana. It is recommended that monkeys have at least one banana every five days! On day five, they stumbled upon a loot. The three monkeys stumbled upon two bananas. Now, if they shared this banana equally, then no monkey would be live. None of them was willing to forego his share of the banana as that would mean certain death.

 

One monkey however, had a plan. His plan was ingenious. He knew that should it come to a fight, the two other monkeys, were bigger and more agile than he was, and so, he would come out the worse if it came to that. He decided to commit the ultimate crime. He took the two bananas, ripe as they were, and handed them over to his opponents. He then took up position in a corner and gave a timid and defeated look to his bigger rivals. The two monkeys now in possession of a full banana each, decided not to be cruel to a fellow monkey. They had come too far together. What did they do? Well, they each cut their bananas in half and each handed over half to the timid looking monkey in the corner. They both felt sympathetic to this weak monkey in the corner. This silly looking, timid monkey ended up with a full banana in the process as the other two each ended up with half! No prizes for guessing who won that contest!

 

Back to the Nairobi Gubernatorial (I finally got it.. that was hard) race… no prizes for who will be Governor (Can I say Gubernor?) come March the 5^th 2013 and let’s just say, two monkeys will regret ever underestimating the cunning ability of a certain YT2!

 

Now go to your corner and weep!

Making Political Lemonade.

“mwanasiasa aliniomba kura
akiniahidi yote atatimiza
baada ya miaka tano anarudi na kitambi
bila kutimiza
nina pastor ka jirani yangu nilimwamini
kufa na kupona
nikitoka kwangu, naye anaingia kuzali
na bibi yangu

niki-hustle juu chini ili nivuke border
wananigeukia
niki-hustle juu chini ili nivuke border
wananigeukia”

niki-hustle juu chini ili nivuke border
wananigeukia
niki-hustle juu chini ili nivuke border
wananigeukia

Chorus
nimtazame nani, nimwamini nani (nani)
wananigeukia
vigeugeu… vigeugeu… vigeugeu wananigeukia

Kigeugeu- Jaguar.

 

The season of political (re) alignments is here again. Coalitions are built…coalitions fall apart. Some coalitions have already fallen apart, and others, we all know, will soon fall apart.

As I was busy building coalitions with EABL and excel spreadsheets, turns out some political party decided to build a relationship with yours truly. I didn’t get the memo though. Apparently, I am so valuable to them, that they waived the registration fee. I presume that my membership card has been sent through the mail.

Now, I figure I could do one of two things.

a)     Complain to the registrar of political parties and demand for answers and de registration (Why should I de register when I didn’t register in the first place)

b)     I could make lemonade and run for political office.

Well, I have chosen to go with Option B! Yes, I have decided to join in with the madness and contest for political office. I am ‘consulting’ with ‘my people’ and I shall make my announcement shortly. I am also building coalitions with ‘likeminded’ politicians and a major announcement will be made shortly.

I know you are probably wondering what I stand for as a politician. Well, after much thought and careful consideration, I have come up with the key points that will govern my tenure in office.

i)                    Corruption

I shall to the best of my ability, cut under hand deals and take bribes. I will ensure that I enrich myself whilst criticizing this practice. Preach water, drink the most potent wine! any project in my area of jurisdiction, will be done at half the pace, for twice the price. All projects will be advertised in the newspaper pull outs. How else will you know I am ‘working for my people’? I shall build latrines that will never be used and then use up to ten times the project cost to ensure that a special full color supplement runs on all the dailies.

ii)                   Health care

Everyone has a right to access medical facilities. I also have a right to seek premium healthcare treatment in the finest hospitals in the USA or the U.K. Okay fine, I might consider South Africa, but I generally don’t believe in African Hospitals. As I will not be be able to help my people much, I will attend funerals and console the bereaved. I shall also use funerals as platforms for political rallies.

iii)                 Agriculture

Let’s face it folks… bad agricultural practices and rain shortfalls is good for business. Do you really expect me to support proper agriculture? We will have a glut! How will I then import maize into the country? Wacheni jokes!

iv)                 Education

Here is how I see it… the smarter you are, the more problems you are likely to cause. I shall however, constitute a committee to look into upgrading the education system. As the chair of this committee, we shall have to go and study education systems in Jamaica, Trinidad and Tobago, Tahiti, Mauritius, Hawaii… Places with great institutions of learning. I also think it’s a great idea to study management from soccer coaches. That is why I shall have to keenly study the following matches Arsenal Vs Manchester United. Manchester City Vs Manchester United. Arsenal Vs Chelsea and the Champions League finals. I will have to be pitch side for this games. This is important how? Well, I don’t know yet, but I will figure it out then.

v)                  Political Party Status

I shall be available to the highest bidder. If possible, I shall do the following;

a)      Form my own political party

b)      Hold a delegates conference and vow to form a coalition with other parties

c)       Sell my political party to the highest bidder.

d)      Sell myself to another political party that same evening.

e)      Defect to another coalition (after being paid again) and claim to have listened to ‘my people’ huko mashinani.

The above five point plan will see my economic status expand and your pocket contract. In five years, I shall have amassed enough wealth to bribe people to reelect me. what makes me different from my opponents is that I am honest. All those who disagree with me are now my political detractors who have been paid! So, for 2013, Kura Kwangu, lakini Kula Nitakula Peke Yangu! Tukutane kwa debe!

Babez… Will You Marry Me?

“lazizi wangu wee
zawadi nono kutoka mbinguni
nakuwaza my baby
nikikuwaza usiku silali

nikikuona na wengine nashikwa na wivu
naomba unipe namba yako nikuvutie wire
nikupeleke Java
tunywe kahawa
tukizubaa duba duba”

Lazizi- Sauti Sol

I know I have been silent for the larger part of this year. If I said that I have missed writing, then I would be lying. If I said that I have been alone… well, again I will be lying. I wish to not engage with you my readers today. Today, I will address she who has made me a better man. Today, I will address she, who has made me feel from deep within. Today, I choose to address she, who has made me want to settle down. Today, I ask the said she to MARRY ME.

The Very First Time,

I remember the first time I met you. I cant lay a finger on what exactly attracted me to you. all I know is that I knew right there and then, that I wanted to see you again and again.

I remember the very first time I nervously muttered the words “I Love You…” I think was surprised me the most about those three words, were the fact that for starters, I meant them and the second thing… the fact that instead of feeling vulnerable, I felt rather relieved. It felt like a huge load had been lifted out of my shoulders.

I remember the first time I took you out on a date. We were in a different world, in probably one of my favorite parts of that world. We talked and you know what? we connected. It was simple. It was just the two of us, open spaces and the afternoon went by so fast, that I think we got lost in our own time.

Thinking back, it is on that very first date, that I knew I wanted to see more of you, and that I wanted to be a part of you. Thinking back, it has been an epic journey.

I remember the first time I made you cry. Yes, we have had rough patches as well. You needed me, and I was not there. I failed you on that day. I know my presence would not have changed much. However, what it would have done though, was that it would have eased your pain. My role was not to make your troubles go away. It is that day, that I realized that my role in your life, was to share your pains and lows. It was to share you highs and smiles. It was to be your shoulder to lean on. My role, was not to make sure that you never have problems. It was instead, to make sure that you never have to face those troubles alone.

My Second time,

Babez, after so many firsts, I soon realized that I had to continuously wow you. I had to keep ‘wowing’ you time and time again. Every good deed demanded another.

I guess after the first three months, lets face it, we both realized that we were in whatever it is we were in for the long haul. It was now time to settle and understand the flaws in one another. The ‘pretty face’ was over. Now we were on to the ‘normal’ face. The best foot had been put forward. Now it was time for us show each other the other foot.

It has not been easy babez. You have seen me at my low moments. Seen me at my highs. Caught me as I was going through my lows. You were there when the unexpected happened. And you were there for what I knew would be. You took tea with me at my cheap cafes… and you were opposite me as we wined and dined in fancy hotels. Babez… after all that we have been through, all I can say is that I Love you now, more than I Loved You the first time I said I Love you. It defies logic I know. But here we are babez. Here we are.

One More Time,

Babez… I am settled with what I feel for you. I am settled with how I feel for you.  I am not a man of many complexities. I am not the loudest of the bunch. I am not the most hardworking of the bunch. I cannot lay claim to being the most handsome of the bunch either. And let’s face it, I we both know I isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed either.

I however, with all that I am. With all that I am worth. With all that I have. With all that I will ever have, do say to you babez… that I lay claim to being the man that will Love you like no other. I lay my claim to being the man that will go to the ends of the world for you. I am that man, who you know, will be true to you. I am that man, who promises to always do good by you.

Babez… in times of pain, I know tears will flow from your cheeks. I also do know, I will be by your side to help wipe every tear drop that flows down from your cheeks.

Babez… in times of joy, I know your huge laugh will ring loud and your smile will brighten the room. I promise to be there to share in it.

Babez… here I am. A simple man. Here I am. A man humbled by who you are. Here I am. A man in Love with all that it is that says you. Here I am. A man ready for whatever the future might hold. Here I am. A man who wants to spend the rest of my life with you. Here I am…. A man who can say so many words… when all Raymond wants to ask is… CYNTHIA, WILL YOU MARRY

I am a lucky man

 

KENYANS FOR KENYA

“Nafurahia Undugu na uko wetu
Nasherekea Kazi na bidii yetu
Tuvute pamoja Tushirikiane
Bega Kwa Bega tujikaze tusaidiane

Niko na
Niko na uwezo
Wakuji Kujiendeleza
Niko na
Niko nayo nguvu
Nitaji
Nitajitahidi
Niko na
Niko na fanaka
Nitaji
Nitajitolea
Niko na
Niko na baraka
Kwa kazi
Kazi nayofanya
Niko na Fahari
Niko na furaha
Niko na uwezo”

 

Niko Na – Safaricom Choir

My Dear fellow Kenyans,

I am a Kenyan and I am proud to be Kenyan. Sometimes though, my loyalty is brought to question.  It pains me that we have a system of governance that is so broken down that all that happens is we are in a permanent campaign mode, permanent political bickering mode and permanent corruption mode.

Last year, a wakeup call was made by The Kenya Red Cross and the World Food Program. They did fire a warning shot and they asked Kenyans (read the Government) to ready itself for drought. What went wrong? Where did the rain start beating us (no pun intended)?

My Dear fellow Kenyans,

Today, I picked up my phone and I made a donation to the Kenya Red Cross in a bid to feed my dear fellow Kenyans. What pains me though, is that many have already lost lives as we sat back and waited for an emergency call. It does pain as well, when I hear our Prime Minister say that the MEDIA are being harsh and that they are being unfair. I am guessing he would have preferred Kenyans to starve than for the Government to be cast in bad light in the media. And let me guess… around this time next year, he will be cris crossing the exact same area with grand plans for dam constructions, grain storage facilities, and I am sure you will say that under your Government, you will make it rain in the entire country. A bunch of bollocks we all know, but your audience will be expected to clap and chant your praises all the way to the ballot box. again, politics will over ride our collective levels of common sense!

My Dear Fellow Kenyans,

This is not going to be a political rant. I will save that for the mainstream media. They will give us page after page of editorial commentary and they will splash pictures on pages. The more troubling, the better. The more malnourished a child will be, the better. The more gorier, the better. They will sell papers and they will say they are reporting in a balanced and fair manner. Truth is, the media was also caught up in the scramble for political headlines. They are scrambling for the next scoop from the President. The mainstream media was caught out reporting on who was meeting the Hague 6. They were caught up in the mediocrity that is the G7.

My Dear fellow Kenyans,

My resolve to proudly proclaim and defend the colors our republic is being tested. I am sure yours is as well. At the end of the day, we as Kenyans need to stand up for each other. We have a lovely country. A country full of contradictions, but a great country it is. We have a country not worth fighting for, but one worth standing up for.

My Dear fellow Kenyans,

We need one another. We need prayer for rains to fall and we need donations in terms of food. We need to commit to one another. I am willing to stand by my brethren in the Nothern Districts. Isn’t it the legendary Field Marshall Dedan Kimathi who said it is better to die on your own feet, than to live on your knees? Didn’t Jaramogi Oginga Odinga say “Whether you chithni, you yetni or you thethni, Kenya en marwa by thuonity!” I know our sense of pride has been eroded by bickering, political or otherwise, but at the end of the day, all we have is one another.  Where are the real men of this country? I believe we have real men out there. Men like me, who think that accepting food aid from a desert country like Egypt is an insult. Where are the real women of this proud country that is Kenya? Women who believe it an insult for a foreigner to come in and cook in their kitchens. Men and women of Kenya, I call upon you to stand up. I call upon you show your worth.  I dare you to show the world your true colors. The country demands it from you.

My Dear Fellow Kenyans,

My pride in a flag with a symbolic green color, does not allow me to receive food aid from a desrt nation before I have given my contribution. I have today sent a small contribution to the Kenyans for Kenya program. My mobile phone service provider of choice, Safaricom, have made it easy for all Kenyans to give as little as KES 10.00. Just go to your M-Pesa Option, go to the “Paybill” option and enter the number 111111. Make your donation. Whatever amount you can muster, please make that contribution. I would like to make a pledge as well. For every hit I receive on this post, I will give one shilling towards the cause. I fear I might be at the risk of driving myself broke but you know what? if it is to feed a Kenyan who will one day live to emulate a personal hero the late Dr. Bonaya Godana, then I stand by my pledge.

My Dear Fellow Kenyans,

I happened to be in the coastal beaches a while back. We were all shuffling on to the ferry and the wind was being rather ruthless that day. As we boarded the ferry, the wind gushed and an elderly had her dress blown up. Instead of struggling with keeping her privates hidden, she had both hand firmly gripped on her hat! Yes, she couldn’t care less about her exposed nether regions. When a fellow passenger asked her why? She said, “Kuma ina miaka sitini na tatu, kofia nayo nimeinunua jana pale tudor…”! it is not time to pass the blame, it is not time to point fingers, we have done that since independence. It is now time to hold on to what is here with us.

My Dear Fellow Kenyans,

DONATE! Again, I will match your reading this post with a donation. We are after KENYANS and we will stand up for KENYA!

 

Who’s Your Daddy?

After a 6 month hiatus, I am back! The smile is back, the ego is bigger, the straight talk is sharper than the original Ninja’s blade! Lets GO!

“Hey you in the blue uniform
If I have wronged you I will reform
raia analia kilio
hey you, hey you
natambua kwamba hamna kosa, ulilofanya eh
kitambulisho wewe hicho hauna
nikufanyeje
mapato yangu nimadogo, nategemea kidogo
ni kazi yangu ujira wangu
hujakataa kosa ulilofanya
hujakataa chini umeshaketi
hujakataa kitambulisho hana
nitakuseti raia, fuata sharia”

Blue Uniform- Sauti Sol

I recently had the chance to assemble a panel of eminent personas. Now, in choosing my panel, I had to undertake rigorous background checks and I had to make sure that the panel was representative of the male folk.

To be a member of this elite advisory committee, one had to meet all the following requirements; Be banned in at least three Kenyan Counties. Have at least three children from two different women, and finally, have the same moral standards as a Hyena.

Kenyans, we have a solution… my panel can be found at www.wanau.me . Follow the link!

On to matters at hand;

Recently, I was with my panel. One panel member surprised us all. he told us how he was in the course of handling his business and was feeling pretty proud of himself. He though he was giving a sterling performance, and happened to ask what should ideally be a rhetoric question. He asked… “who’s you daddy?…” and guess what? He got a reply! “Baba shiko…”!

Yes we were in shock. The entire panel took a step back, had a sip of beer… and looking at my panel, I could tell, it was like dagger straight to the each panelist’s heart!  How cruel can a woman be? Why couldn’t she just fake it and let him feel like a man. Why did she have to respond and respond with an incorrect no less!

The matter being weighty, we could not postpone but tackle the issue immediately. This was more urgent than the implementation of the constitution. The constitution only affects Kenya. This was to affect all of huMANity. We had to come up with a way forward. The egos and well being of men all over was at stake. No man, whether he be from shanty towns of Timbuktu or the metropolis of New York. Whether he is from the belly of the earth itself, or considers the moon his abode. No man, should ever again suffer the indignity of having an incorrect answer to the question… “Who’s Your Daddy…”

I present the brief of our directives which shall be applied across the worlds. The detailed contents of the directives can be found at www.kuweniserious.info.ke

Eject Mass Storage Device

The first thing all men are to do whenever faced with what we shall from here henceforth refer to as an incorrect answer, is quickly EJECT mass storage device. No trying to redeem yourself. An insult like that is not to be taken lightly. No sense in saving anything.

Johnny Bravo Moment

After the knockout punch that is an “incorrect answer” what one needs to get right back up, is a “Johnny Bravo” moment. How? Simple… random fornication with quick kills like mboches,ex-girlfriends (Meaning your ex mboches) and a visit to the “right hand gymnasium” should do just fine. Once you have gone around behaving like an idiot of a human being, you are now back on your feet and can start scheduling a re-match against the said Miss. Incorrect Answer. For the re-match, this is what the panel strongly recommends…

Re-Match Time

Given that you have more than a point to prove, you will need to be at your best. You need to buy enough stock of the infamous Mukhobero herb. This is to be found in Western Kenya and is said to be the cause of the “Muliro Gardens Saga”.  You are to partake of this herb religiously. Have it like mediaction. After breakfast, after lunch and after dinner. Actually, scrap that. Have it instead of meals! Next and very importantly, you need to invest in Peanuts. You will not have margarine on bread, but instead, have Peanut Butter. You will have some peanut butter sauce to go with lunch as well. Next, I suggest you invest in Yoghurt. One lesson we have learnt from “Muliro Gardens” is that Yoghurt is some form of aphrodisiac!

Now you are ready to make the call! You are ready for the re-match.

Again I ask…

If on re-match day and after pumping your body with chemicals meant to stimulate the system, you again ask… “who’s your daddy…” and you get an answer “Bado ni Baba Shiko tu…” said as she continues knitting or filing her nails, then my good friend, I have some advice for you… Resort to the solace and comfort of what is commonly referred to in I.T as “Local Hosting!”.

You have obviously hit a brick wall and found “server error”. The good thing about “local Hosting” is that you can be your own super star. You can do the un-imaginable with Dettol Soap as Julie soothes you… You can stare at Wahu’s Airbrushed body and make her sweat!!… Heck, you can use panga soap and “local host” to an elderly mother! You will be the super star and holder of your own fate. Interesting what Wanjiru’s mother will have as answer if you ask “who’s my Daddy??..”

Great to be back… I’m out!

As Ray Says: Goodbye

 

I was young (bop)
And didn’t have no where to run
I needed to (wake up) and see (and see)
What’s in front of me (na-na-op)
There had to be, a better way say it again
To show I’m grateful (hum)
So I thought up this song
To show my appreciation for lovin’ me so long
You don’t know how much you mean to me

Chorus:
‘Cause even though when times get rough
You never turned away
You were right there
And I thank you (thank uooo)
When I felt I had enough
You never turned away
You were right there
And I thank you (thank you)

Thank You- Boyz II Men

Looking back at the past year and a half… I cant help but SMILE! Starting this blog, has been one of the most fulfilling venture I have ever embarked on.

Many faces I have met… Many friendships I have built. Many smiles I have seen. Many laughs I have generated. This year though.. I call it quits!

2010 is the year I can say I ruled. Post after post I took this blog that notch higher! I got to be featured in a daily…the same daily that eventually plagiarized my work. I topped a blog competition and I met many readers who gave me many hugs.

I had this blogpost all thought out… I knew exactly what I was going to write, but today, as I say Goodbye, words that you have become accustomed to fail me. Today, I can only say THANK YOU.

Many wonder what the process of writing-Raymond style-takes… Sometimes, I just doodle on and something just seems to fit in. Sometimes, I hear a song and what I want to write about automatically comes to mind. One of my most rewarding moments in 2010 was when I wrote with a certain Archer Mishale. About a month before this blogpost, we discussed doing something together. Well, when I did a draft and sent it to him… he called me and said he’d try getting it right because in his words… “Your humor is on another level”. He can tell you that its not easy working with Raymond. I kept calling him… Texting him…I wanted to get his input. I needed his input! A short while later and Archer delivered. I remember reading what he’d sent and I was falling with laughter. I couldn’t believe it! It was done. That post… was special.

2010 is when I bore my heart out… not for sympathy, but for you to know the pain behind the man. Nkirdizzle asked me to do a guest post for her. I wanted to do something along the lines of the alcohol bill…but I didn’t know much about alcohol bills except for those that the waiter brought right after he opened my White Cap. I decided to give the world my story! Once I had it all written down, I felt this huge release. It was like letting go of so much pain. It felt like so much anger and pain had been lifted off my shoulders.

2010 is when I hosted people at my blog. Anonymous people with stories like this one, to share were invited and they told you my readers, of the different experiences they’d had. To my anonymous writers, I say a big thank you and I hope their stories touched each and everyone of you.

I don’t think I know yet, just the number of people who read this blog. For those that do, I say a big thank you. Its always an honor to receive your comments. Those comments mean so much to me. I know I have many “silent” readers. Those that read, and do not comment. THANK YOU! I know of many that have referred their friends to my blog. I couldn’t do this without you.

This blog has changed my life. You have all touched me in ways I never thought possible. What was meant to be mindless rantings and musings of a lunatic, has changed into what I hope are well thought out stories that touch on everyday life…with a pinch of salt of course.

I have so much to say…but I do not know how to say it. Will I be back? Maybe… I guess I just need to read a post that blow all lids away like Magaribina’s Phone Review… Or read something deep and moving like this post from Mrs Mwiti.

For the last year and a half, I have given you smiles and laughs. What you have given me though, I will never measure. I can not measure. I hope I have given back to the blogosphere by raising its profile and creating awareness about this thing called blogs. If I recruited one more member into the world that is blogging, then I believe I have done a decent enough job.

As I hang my mouse and shut down my computer, I have this buzzing music in my head… I hope Code Red can do a mixtape of #RuttoPlaylist. As I hang my mouse, I hope to be back soon. As I hang this mouth and shelve my keypad… I have nothing but my most heartfelt thanks to you all for supporting me. As I hang my mouse, shelve my keypad and turn off my computer, all I am left to say is… Its been one hell of a ride. THANK YOU!

 

My Nokia N8 Wish and A Phone Review!

I have for the last couple of months coveted the Nokia N8! The situation has gotten so bad and so out of control, that I get turned on by the mere mention of the number 8! It has been atop my Christmas wish/lust/covet list this year, but my once good friend from the North pole seems to have ignored my pleas…and trust me, I have made many pleas! Our finance minister also seems to have to have ignored my rather persistent requests, to make accounting “errors” and add some zeroes to my bank account balance!

The Nokia N8…. I was going to write a tech review of the N8, complete with an analysis of the Operating System, camera, bla bla bla… Basically, I was going to give it a glaring review, the phone obviously being the object of my fascination… But then, I have decided to become more realistic. Instead of re-inventing the wheel and writing a phone review, I will just refer you to one of the best blogs in Kenya. It is one of the funniest blogs you will ever read and trust me, this lady’s sense of humor and way with words is as yet unrivalled! For a phone review like no other, kindly click HERE… I hope my Nokia N8 finds its way to my hands! Happy New Year people and should you happen to hear of someone offering good money for a testicle, a load of sperm or something like that, ask them to holla at me! I’m out!